Listen up ladies, for those of you being strung along by your boyfriend in the hopes that someday he’ll shape up: SNAP OUT OF IT! You deserve better and you know it; you just need a little prodding from your sisters from another mister (that’s us).
Maybe you’ve been dating for 6 years, maybe it’s been 6 months; either way, you know something is up. He’s not going to wear a t-shirt proclaiming that he needs more time to “figure out his feelings,” so this is where you’ll need to be somewhat of a detective. Sure, some of the signs can be fairly obvious, but others are tricky, especially when he’s lovey dovey one minute and cold as ice the next. Read over our 5 signs that your dude isn’t ready to commit, and honey, now may be a good time to Google “value of a diamond.” Gauging by his shady on and off actions, those earrings probably aren’t real anyway.
- He’s vague about his feelings: You ask him what’s wrong. All you get is a blank stare or, “Nothing, I’m fine.” He never compliments you, proclaims his love (or lack thereof) for you, or tells you how important you are to him. Even if he’s not a vocal guy to begin with, he should show his feelings in some way, like with a hug, a kiss, an endearing look, mowing the lawn without being asked, cooking for you, something.
- He doesn’t share plans: Want to know what he’s doing Friday night? Well, don’t count on him telling you. And as for his friends- you haven’t met them yet, and you’ve been dating for at least half a year now. His goals in life are a mystery to you; it seems as though he’s perfectly content with keeping you on the outside looking in. No, he doesn’t have to tell you everything (like the last time he shaved down there- that’s just sick), but he should want to include you in on the normal day-to-day activities he does.
- He doesn’t care about your plans: It’s one thing to not share his plans with you, but when he doesn’t take an interest in what you’re doing or where you’re going in life, Houston, we have a problem. Your boss even asks what your plans are for the weekend- and you’re not his or her favorite human being. Acquaintances even know what you’re doing, but when it comes to your boyfriend, he couldn’t be bothered. Don’t you want that feeling of accomplishment, that feeling of pride, that overall good feeling you get when you tell someone you love what your plans are for your life? Everyone deserves to know that feeling.
- He hasn’t introduced you to anyone (or you’re introduced as “his friend”): This is a no-brainer, girlfriend. Think about this: when you meet someone you really like, the first thing you want to do is to introduce them to people you’re close to or invite them to a function. Men are the same way, for the most part. If he has introduced you to people as “his friend” and you’ve been dating for a substantial amount of time (we’re not talking 2 weeks here people), something is wrong. Bottom line: if he loves having you around, he’s going to take you places and introduce you to people he knows.
- He talks about his future in the first person: “I plan to have a log cabin.” “I plan on having 2 kids.” “I plan on moving to Arizona in two years.” This could even include smaller plans in the near future- going to the movies, going to dinner, going to rent a movie for Pete’s sake. If there’s no mention of you in his future plans (small or big), he’s still considering his relationship status as single- or pretty close to it. All of those “I’s” is his subconscious way of saying, “You’re not included in my life.”
Kristy Kravitsky is a writer and avid traveler from Pennsylvania.