If the thought of meeting someone new sets your stomach turning and palms sweating, take heart. First meetings can be as easy as sitting down for a cup of coffee. Rather than setting up a full-blown first date, meet your date for coffee instead and limit the time you spend together. This will help with nerves and also let you figure out if you’d like a “real” date with your match. Here are some additional tips.
Do Arrive a Few Minutes Early
Daters often feel more comfortable getting to a first meeting a few minutes behind the other person for the simple reason that they don’t have to wait alone. But as tempting as it might be to arrive “fashionably late,” it’s considered downright rude. Coffee shops should be a comfortable place to sit by yourself, so choose a location you’re familiar with and don’t leave your date waiting.
Don’t Stay Longer Than an Hour
First dates can be awkward if you don’t know how long they will last. Will you like the guy or girl? Or want to leave after a few minutes?
When meeting for a coffee date, set the expectation ahead of time that you can only meet for one hour. Then, extend your hand at the end of sixty minutes and tell your date you truly enjoyed meeting him or her. Get up to leave and let the person know you will be in touch. This is a painless way to end the date.
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Do Follow Up After the Date
If you enjoyed your date, send an email or call the guy or girl after and ask for a “real” first date. Even if you don’t want to see your date again, be sure to send a follow up email saying:
“Thank you for meeting me today. I really enjoyed chatting with you. I don’t think we’re compatible, but I know you won’t have any problem meeting the right person for you.”
This short and to-the-point note will let the person know that he or she should move on and not harbor any hopes of another date with you.
Don’t Expect Your Date to Pay
When you first arrive at the date, look around the coffee shop to see if your partner has arrived yet. If he or she is running late, use that opportunity to purchase your own coffee. Never expect your date to pay for you on a coffee date.
Do Keep the Conversation Going
Although coffee dates are only an hour in length, they are a valuable way to get to know your new love interest. So make the most of your sixty minutes by asking open-ended questions that will allow you to get a sense of your date’s personality.
It’s important that when you ask your date a question, you take the time to listen as well. Don’t just rattle off a serious of inquiries without waiting for a response. The best way to get to know your date is to hear what he or she has to say.
Coffee dates are a wonderful way to meet new people. They are safe, easy on the budget, and allow for a comfortable way to get to know someone new. Always opt for a sixty minute coffee date as the first point of contact between you and your date. Follow these do’s and don’ts to help make the date the best it can be.