Change your ideas about finding a relationship and still have fun being single. Here’s how.

© Cherie Burbach

Remember fun? That’s what dating is supposed to be.

For most singles, it was fun, at some point. But as time goes on the notion of finding your soul mate can seem like a pressure filled, full-time job. However, it doesn’t have to be that way.

Definition of a Date
Perhaps the best way to improve your love life is to remember what a date is supposed to be. It involves going out with someone. Out, as in, to a public place where you sit and talk or have a bite to eat. Dating involves coffee dates as opposed to going to your date’s house (even if they want to cook you dinner or snuggle up for a night of DVDs).

Dating Does Not Equal Relationships
Dating is not the same as having a relationship. When you date someone casually there should be no sexual intimacy or heavy physical contact until you’re ready to start up a relationship. There should also be no talk about “the future” in any concrete sense or thinking about what the person would be like as a spouse or parent.

Dating, in other words, is simple. It involves getting to know someone slowly, over time. Seeing him or her in different situations. When the two of you continue to click, you keep going out on dates. You do this until you both decide you want to start up a relationship.

Casual Dating Means Different People
Until you are absolutely certain you want to date one person and only one, keep dating several people. Again, this does not mean you sleep with several people. It means you have platonic involvement with each and every person you date until you want to date one specific person solely. Until you have a conversation with your love interest about exclusivity, however, assume your partner is also casually meeting other people.

Dating is Slow and Sweet
By dating at a slower, sweeter, more innocent pace you and your dates will get to know each other much better than if you’d each tried to force a relationship into forming. Every time you sleep with someone too fast or think in terms of “the future” rather than getting to know your date in the present it can cloud your judgment about what the person is really like.

The benefit of this relaxed type of dating is that you’ll probably have more options than you did before. Instead of trying to force a situation you already know isn’t going to work, you walk away from it confident in the knowledge that you’ve got another date lined up next week. Most of all, regardless of how old you are or how long you’ve been single, you’ll end up with a better relationship with it’s all said and done.

Image: sxc.hu